Monday, September 3, 2012 @ 4:25 PM
Hellooooooo!
Dont know if julian would still be reading my blog. But anyway, just gonna write eveything out. because i feel so fed up with everything. Sometimes, i just feel that maybe i should just die. at least i wont be feeling miserable or whatever.
things hasnt been going on very smooth for me. i hate staying in this department, especially after i know that there are so many hypocrites in it and, one of them doesnt like me but yet still acted like she cares about me alot. and she, still has the cheek to tell me that she treats me like a sister, and a friend. wooow. but sometims, people are just like that. if possible, i wouldnt even make friends with such ppl, blame me for having a soft heart, ad i fogive people easily.. sigh. I just feel so stupid everytime, knowing this and that.. zzz. im so scared of trusting people :(
had been in contact with bb recently, i feel so much better when he's around, when he's there for me. but at times, i give up. because im so afraid of trying, and trusting again. its so scary, even though yes.. i still love julian alot. but it seems to me like when everything is right, something would happen to mess it up again.
he'd known this girl called hazel. julian keeps insisting that he wouldnt fall for her.. but in the end.. no one will now what will happen. he already treated her as someone important, more than a friend. soon i think, she will replace me.. im feelin so down and upset, somewhat lost all my confidence. :( i know im not as pretty as gentle and blah la. i also know im so common. prolly julian will really find someone else in he next 3 years.. but for me... i guess... not now ba, im still waiting. i just can't leave him. i tried, i really did try.. but in the end im back to square one again. sigh.
god, please answer my prayers and let everything back to how it was. and yes, i still want julia back, into my life as someone important again, and be his center of attention.
:(